外国最新笑话精粹 英汉双语对照2025|PDF|Epub|mobi|kindle电子书版本百度云盘下载

外国最新笑话精粹 英汉双语对照PDF格式电子书版下载

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Save Money1

省钱1

目录Sobbing Keeper1

哭泣的饲养员1

你会怎么办？2

What Would You Do？2

Mushroom and Toadstool2

蘑菇与毒蕈2

我没看到它3

I Didn't Notice It3

A Baby Sister3

小妹妹3

生日礼物（1）4

A Birthday Present（Ⅰ）4

Sharing the Apples4

分苹果4

人们什么时候说话最少？5

When Do People Talk Least？5

Who Discovered Australia？5

谁发现了澳大利亚？5

The plural Form of“ZChild”5

“孩子”的复数形式5

补洞6

To Patch the Hole6

My Husband Just Came in6

我丈夫刚进来6

Captain and First Mate　7

健忘症7

Forgetfulness7

是谁偷的车？8

Who Stole the Car？8

以色列的出租车9

Taxi in Israel9

爱尔兰人的运气10

Luck of the Irish10

两个错误11

Two Mistakes11

每根都能划得燃12

Evely Match Lit12

唱出你的心声　13

Sing your Heart Out13

上天堂还是下地狱　14

Go to Heaven or Hell14

报复　15

What Goes Around15

讲出故事的结尾　16

Telling Tail16

金色的酒吧　17

Golden Bar17

美女上班　18

Blonde at Work18

寄给上帝的信　20

The Letter from Lord20

法官的手表　21

The Judge's Watch　21

等警察来　22

Wait for the Police to Come 　22

新手上班　23

Rookie is on the Job　23

考验　24

A Test 　24

我的房间在哪？　25

Which Room is Mine?　25

只听上帝的安排　26

Just Follow the God's Order　26

谁是乔治·华盛顿　28

Who is George Washington?　28

主席　29

The Chairman　29

人就是这样　30

That's the Way.We Really Are　30

陪审团主席　32

The Foreman's Position 　32

两个猎人　33

Two Hunters　33

电话录音　34

A Call-in Tape　34

初出茅庐的州警　35

Novice Trooper　35

沉默誓言　36

Oath of Silence 　36

疼痛之极　37

Ordered Sets 　37

场景　37

Pain,Real Pain　37

与上帝为伍　38

Partners with God　38

荒诞哲学　40

Phases of Education　40

教育阶段　40

Philosophy in the John　40

可怜的本　41

Polish Death　41

死在波兰人手里　41

Poor Ben 　41

跳伞　42

Sign on a Hospital Bulletin Board　42

医院公告栏上的留言　42

Skydiving　42

狡猾的恶棍　43

Sly Devil　43

拼字比赛　44

Spelling Bee　44

发生在院子里的怪事　45

Strange Things were Happening in His Yard　45

愚蠢的对手　47

Stupid Game Show Contestants　47

关于身份问题的教育　48

Teaching the Status 　48

魔鬼的血　49

The Blood of the Devil　49

别着急　51

Relax 　51

春季种植　52

Springtime Planting　52

真正的勇气　53

True Courage　53

面试　55

Interview　55

一只袜子　57

A Sock　57

三个修道士　59

The Three Monks　59

狂人马丁　61

Mad Martin　61

一只勇敢的猪　64

A Brave Pig　64

自然分娩　65

Natural Childbirth　65

如果只有一次66

If Only Once 　66

应该早告诉他67

Should've Told him67

超前思维68

Think Ahead68

到底有多少大豆　69

How Many Beans Turn Out to Be69

律师咨询费　70

Consultation Fee　70

船长与大副　70

麻烦的孩子71

A Troublesome Child71

费迪南德先生的午餐72

Mr.Ferdinand's Lunch72

上钩73

A Good Catch73

出人意料的答案74

An Unexpected Answer74

That's It74

原来如此74

第一次与最后一次76

My First and my Last76

士兵的高招77

A Soldier's Brilliant Idea77

Chaude and Cold77

热与冷77

蜜月新人79

Honeymooners79

误解80

Misunderstanding80

您可以下来了81

You Can Come Down81

圣诞树82

Christmas Tree82

老夫老妻83

Old Couple83

Air Force Captain and Mailman83

空军上尉与邮递员83

迪尼斯之旅84

A Trip to Disney84

他是我的85

He's Mine85

祖先86

Ancestry86

A Way to Make Money86

生财有道86

为钟表加油87

I'm Cheering the Clock On87

问路88

Asking the Way88

有时是我的89

Sometimes it's Mine89

幸运的顾客90

A Lucky Customer90

健忘的丈夫91

A Forgetful Husband91

如此邻居92

Such a Neighbor92

谁死的更惨93

Who had the Most Tragic Death93

他的第二个妻子95

His Second Wife95

妻管严96

Henpecked Husbands96

I'm Her Father96

我是她老爸96

一分之差97

One Point97

为何收钱98

What is it for?98

速度限制99

Speed Limit99

愚蠢的兔子100

A Silly Rabbit100

两名士兵101

Two Soldiers101

罗素悖论102

Russell's Paradox102

很高兴认识你103

Very Pleased to Meet You103

天国医生104

The Heavenly Doctor104

The Difference between Theory and Experiment104

理论与实践的区别104

苏格兰人和售票员105

Scotsman Ticket Collector105

真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远！106

I Didn't Know That I was So Far Back Already!106

两元钱107

Two Dollars107

多少钱？108

How Much is It?108

我这是在哪儿？109

Where am I109

优缺点110

Good Points and Bad Points110

Hobbies110

业余爱好110

提醒信111

Reminder111

极端的自杀性爆炸者112

Those Pesky Suicide Bombers112

Clarinet112

单簧管112

戈尔巴乔夫同志的司机113

Gorbachev's Driver113

生意不景气的时候114

When Business is Suffering114

Saying Grace114

饭前的谢恩祈祷114

换个工作115

Change Your Business115

一个坏印象116

A Bad Impression116

不同的听众117

A Different Kind of Audience117

好心反遭报应118

Good Intention Ends with Complaint118

滑雪课119

Ski Lessons119

None Other Than a Soldier119

它就是士兵119

和你身高差不多120

About your Height120

你一个，我一个121

One for You,One for Me121

The World's Greatest Swordsman121

世界上最伟大的击剑手121

把我吓个半死123

Scare Me Half to Death123

谁最臭124

Who Tops Them All?124

自己来125

Help Yourself125

酒吧间里的赌博126

The Bar Bet126

天堂里的教皇129

Pope in Heaven129

混乱的药方130

Prescription Confusion130

Practical Joke130

恶作剧130

真实的幽默132

Real Life Humor132

Kids-The Natural Comedians132

孩子们天生就是喜剧演员132

河上漂流133

River Cruises133

实话实说134

Tell It like It Is134

Better Warn the Husbands134

给丈夫最好的警告134

逮捕135

Man Arrested135

不要和小孩子争论136

Don't Argue with Children136

一则食物标签的可能性137

A Food Label with Possibilities137

哥哥与妹妹138

Brother and Sister138

Rope or Ox?138

绳子还是公牛？138

疼痛之种种139

Types of Pain139

希拉里的礼物140

Hillary's Gift140

是死是活141

Dead or Alive141

县议员142

County Legislator142

邮箱143

Mailbox143

三个老年人144

Three Old Men144

圣诞节晚会145

Christmas Party145

错误的警告146

False Alarm146

地铁147

Subway147

口信148

The Message148

理论与现实149

Theory vs.Reality149

早退150

Leaving Work Early150

价钱151

The Price151

魔镜152

Magic Mirror152

青铜老鼠153

Bronze Rat153

金发美女和她的马155

The Blonde and the Horses155

慷慨157

Generosity157

司机与比尔·克林顿158

The Driver and Bill Clinton158

贷款159

The Loan159

会说话的青蛙160

A Talking Frog160

赚钱161

Make Money161

收考卷162

Hand in Test Paper162

第一次约会163

Blind Date163

The Looney Bin163

疯人院163

苏珊会唱卡拉OK164

Susan Knows Karaoke164

Sunday School Class164

主日课164

请张开嘴165

Open Your Mouth165

Goalkeeper165

守门员165

一元钱166

One Dollar166

The Longest and the Shortest166

最长与最短166

太快与太慢167

Too Fast or Too Slow167

Wash Your Face167

洗脸167

Great Scientists167

伟大的科学家167

玩具娃娃168

Doll168

Carrot168

胡萝卜168

Is the Milk Fresh?168

牛奶新鲜吗？168

地球的形状169

The Shape of Our Earth169

Train and Car169

火车与汽车169

Shave169

刮脸169

导盲犬170

Guide Dog170

律师和农场主171

The Lawyer and the Rancher171

随你挑172

Take What You Want172

New Mercedes172

崭新的奔驰车172

西部的金发牛仔173

Blondes in the Old West173

纪念日175

Anniversary175

Transportation Project175

交通运输工具上的工程175

逛购物中心177

Visit to the Mall177

技术支持178

Technical Support178

伊甸园179

Garden of Eden179

看掌纹180

Palm Reader180

用了一根棍子，就进了监狱181

Use a Cane;Go to Prison181

我们会在九点到五点之间到达182

We'll Arrive between 9 and 5182

Wedding Gifts,Allegedly True182

所谓真正的“结婚礼物”182

你现在要干什么183

What are You going to Do Now?183

What Abraham Lincoln would be Doing Today?183

亚伯拉罕·林肯现在做什么？183

如果我先死了怎么办184

What If I Die First?184

What did They Expect?184

他们希望什么184

一封遗嘱185

Where There's a Will185

我解雇秘书的原因187

Why I Fired my Secretary187

Why Go to Med School?187

为什么选择学医187

世界标准189

World Standards189

我们不能相信律师吗？190

You can't Trust a Lawyer?190

家庭牧场191

Family Ranch191

期末考试193

Final Exam193

Coffee Break193

休息喝咖啡的时间193

金婚纪念日194

Golden Wedding Anniversary194

讣告195

An Obituary195

运气太差196

Bad Luck196

借口197

An Excuse197

休息一天198

A Day Off198

A Restaurant198

餐馆里198

后继有人199

Be Still,My Heart199

女人最喜爱哪四种动物呢？200

What are a Woman's Four Favorite Animals?200

Quick Wit200

脑筋急转弯200

A College Graduate200

大学毕业生200

律师和吸血鬼的差别是什么？201

What is the Difference between a Lawyer and a Leech?201

A Birthday Present201

生日礼物201

DC和.COM202

DC and Dot com202

Jealous202

猜疑心202

Democrats and Republicans202

民主党人和共和党人202

救命，我们迷路了203

Help,We're Lost!203

迷路的直升飞机204

Lost Helicopter204

感觉很好205

I'm Fine205

找妻子207

Lost My Wife207

True Tech Support Stories...207

关于技术支持的真实故事207

就是我208

It's Me All Right208

The Umbrella208

雨伞208

海湾危机209

Gulf Crisis209

Whose Fault209

谁的错209

A Nice Put-down209

完美的反驳209

Mark Twain Gives I209

马克·吐温下的定义209

纪律210

Discipline210

Father's John Hancock210

父亲的亲笔签名210

打字212

Typing212

关于降落伞213

The Parachute213

生日玫瑰215

Birthday's Rose215

快乐并不富裕216

Happy but Not Rich216

上帝会来救我的217

The Lord will Save Me217

最乐观的人218

The Champion Optimist218

预言219

Prediction219

师生间的对话220

Teacher and Student220

谁醉了？221

Who is Drunk?221

冰上钓鱼222

Ice Fishing222

数学没及格223

Flunking Math223

Good Service223

优质服务223

你是哪一个？224

Who is This224

Promotion224

提升224

新年决心书225

New Year Resolution225

提醒226

Warning226

Ground Rules226

基本原则226

他的答案只比正确答案多二227

He Was Only Wrong by Two227

Real Play227

逼真的戏剧227

拿破仑病了229

Napoleon was Ill229

灾难230

Tragedy230

父亲的职业231

What My Daddy Does231

情书232

Love Letters232

When was Rome Built?232

罗马是什么时候建成的？232

过分的恭维234

Too Much Flattery234

行人和斧子235

The Travelers and the Hatchet235

人尽其才236

Nothing to Do with My Mom236

我自己过去237

I'll Go There Myself237

Mixed Doubles237

混合双打237

你好,水手238

Hello,Sailor238

医生和管道工239

The Doctor and the Plumber239

Say Sir239

要叫先生239

冰冻弹子240

Frozen Marble240

Seen on a Birthday Card240

一张生日卡片240

礼物该给谁？241

Who Should Be Given the Gift?241

四减四等于几？242

4-4=？242

钥匙还是接吻243

Keys or kiss243

用沙盖住影子244

Cover the shadow with Sand244

去天堂246

To Go to Heaven246

作文247

Essay247

How Many Rabbits?247

多少只兔子？247

学法语248

To Learn French248

Jim's History Examination248

吉姆的历史考试248

好消息和坏消息249

The Good News and The Bad News249

他的耳朵在我的衣兜里250

I Have His Ear in My Pocket250

Boxing and Running250

拳击和逃跑250

好孩子251

A Good Boy251

模仿252

Imitation252

巧合253

Coincidence253

A Silly Father253

傻爸爸253

懒惰的结果254

The Result of Laziness254

An Ugly Woman254

丑女254

I am the Driver254

我是司机254

他赢了255

He Won255

Regret256

后悔256

Bedtime Prayers256

睡前祷告词256

Hospitality257

好客257

Big Head257

大脑袋257

What Time is it Now?258

现在几点了？258

Your Coat is on Fire259

您的大衣着火了259

Thinking Back259

回忆259

You will Save Much More260

你会省得更多260

Cremation261

骨灰261

Doctor's Joke262

医生的笑话262

The Three Wishes263

三个心愿263

Ticket Holders Only264

先买票264

A Drunk's Confession265

一个醉汉的忏悔265

Poor Construction Workers266

可怜的建筑工人266

Good News and Bad news267

好消息和坏消息267

A Lottery Winner268

中奖268

陆军与海军的较量269

Army vs.Navy269

I'll Carry You Down269

我会把您背下去269

每个人都这样吗？269

Everyone Does?269

迟到的原因270

The Reason of Being Late270

Lightning270

闪电270

老虎来了270

When a Tiger comes270

My Sister's Fingers271

新西兰的气候271

我妹妹的手指头271

The Climate of New Zealand271

They've Disappeared272

除了音乐272

它们消失了272

All Except the Music272